It's time to make New Year's resolutions

Happy New Year!!

As I’ve done for at least a dozen years, I will relay some New Year’s resolutions that were conveyed to me either through test messages, confidential sources, Morse Code or smoke signals. If you’ve made any resolutions or know of someone who did, feel free to add them in the comment section.

Without further ado:

-I, Mayor Lou Rosamilia, hereby resolve to hold a press conference now and again and actually answer questions. In all my years, I have never seen a mayor release a budget and not hold a press conference to explain nuances and answer the inevitable questions reporters will have.

- I, Councilwoman Lynn Kopka – I was Council president until that damn Rodney Wiltshire outmaneuvered me with the Independence Party line, – hereby resolve to not be too upset about not getting to chair the Planning Committee like I wanted and instead will focus all my time and energy on sewer and water lines in my new role as chair of the Public Utilities Committees. Damn that Wiltshire. Oh, and I hereby resolve to spay and neuter more cats … but I’ll tell you one guy I’d like to neuter.

-I, Council President Rodney Wiltshire, hereby resolve not to thumb my nose at Kopka or Rensselaer County Chair Tom Wade more than three times a week. I also resolve to stop putting foolish selfies on the internet so political opponents can use them against me.

-I, Deputy Mayor Pete Ryan, hereby resolve to get to the bottom of what the demolition on King Street was all about. Or, what I really hope is the whole thing goes away because that will make everyone’s life a whole lot easier. I also resolve to pray every day that we don’t get any more snow … that last storm was a bitch without a Department of Public Works commissioner to guide the troops.

-I, Deputy Mayor Pete Ryan, want to change my resolution and hereby resolve to talk Rosamilia into using the $30,000 we’re paying the police commissioner towards hiring a DPW commissioner because I know nothing about plowing snow.

-I, Director of Planning Bill Dunne, hereby resolve to not get into any more fights in the office, especially with city Engineer Russ Reeves who can probably clean my clock if he really wanted to. I too resolve to get to the bottom of the King Street demolition, but not until I’m no longer director of planning.

-I, Fire Chief Tom Garrett, hereby resolve to not tear down anymore buildings in the city while Reeves is out of town … and I don’t care who tells me to. I also resolve to agree to take myself out of the union so I don’t earn anymore obscene overtime.

-I Police Chief John Tedesco, hereby resolve to kiss and make up with Police Commissioner Anthony Magnetto and Mayor Rosamilia and let them control the day-to-day activity of the Police Department. OK, I’m kidding. If they don’t give me control of the TPD, I’m following through with my lawsuit.

-I, Police Commissioner Anthony Magnetto, hereby resolve to kiss and make up with Tedesco. Actually, this one has a chance of lasting because I’m going to step down sometime soon and we’re both decent guys who go way back.

-I, Police Benevolent Association President Bob Fitzgerald, will stay out of City Hall and let Tedesco do the chief’s job as he sees fit. I see this one lasting about as long as Tedesco backing off and deciding to go down without a fight.

I, Councilmen Jim Gordon and Dean Bodnar, hereby resolve to soak Wiltshire for all he’s worth since he needs our Republican votes even though he’s a Democrat.

-I, District Attorney Rich McNally, hereby resolve to do a better job as a Supreme Court judge than I did as DA.

-I, County Executive Kathy Jimino, hereby resolve to put out a press release the next time I give myself and top aides a raise rather than have it come out after the election.

-I, the local media collectively, hereby resolve to pick up on any aforementioned raises before Election Day since it was in the originally proposed budget.

-I Green Island Mayor Ellen McNulty, hereby resolve to shake things up a bit, outside of scaring some geese out of the village with an air horn, to give the media something to write about.

-I, Assembly Speaker Shelly Silver, hereby resolve to only hire interns and lower level employees who accept the fact a pat on the butt is not only a compliment, but part of their job description.

-I, former Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno, hereby resolve to continue to fight the federal government with all I have.

-I, former Gov. Eliot Spitzer, hereby resolve to stay out of the tabloids for a whole year. But that would mean no sex for a year. Ahhh … screw it (pun intended) … there is worse things than having my photo on the cover of The Post.

-I, Gov. Andrew Cuomo, herby resolve to get off the fence and either act like a Democrat or a Republican. It's kind of humorous I can try to be a good old boy and ride snow mobiles in upstate while passing the SAFE Act and not make a move on hyrdofracking.

-I, former DPW Commissioner Bob Mirch, hereby resolve to wear shorts for 365 days in 2014, breaking the old record of 357 days in 2013.

-I, former mayoral and Council candidate Carmella Mantello, hereby resolve to run for office again at the first opportunity.

-I, Albany Mayor Kathy Sheehan, hereby resolve to not compare myself to outgoing Mayor Jerry Jennings. I also hereby resolve to try and figure out how I can get the rest of the world to follow suit.

-I, Rensselaer County Democratic Party Chairman Tom Wade, hereby resolve to bring the Democratic Party together under one big happy umbrella.

-We, the delusional bunch, (Clemente Campana, Michael LoPorto, Robert Martiniano among others,) collectively hereby resolve to continue to drive Wade nuts. Wiltshire and the likely Troy Council President Pro Temp Ken Zalewski also have a similar resolution.

-I, Troy Democratic Party Chairman Jack McMann, hereby resolve to pull my head out of Wade’s … never mind, this is a family blog.

-I, Jim Franco, the author of this blog, hereby resolve to get a job where I can have as much fun as I did at covering news at The Record.

-We, The Record, hereby resolve to have later deadlines to get such things as election results and sports scores in the printed version, find someone with institutional knowledge to write editorials, and update out website more than once a day.

-We, readers of The Record, collectively, hereby resolve to not cancel out subscription and even pay for the online version even though the news is a day late.

-And if the above said resolution is not possible, then continue to read my blog and check me out every Sunday morning from 10 to noon on Talk1300.